On a day like Valentines Day it is extremely hard to look past things that may be missing from our lives. Whether you do not have someone to celebrate the day with, simply because you have not found that person, whether you have broken up or been broken up with by a significant other, or you have unfortunately lost someone, there is always something positive to look at. Instead of noticing what you are missing remember what you have.
To those celebrating with a significant other today, remember that it is not about the money spent on gifts but it is about the thought behind it. Time is the most important thing that you could give to another therefore spending time with your loved one is the most precious thing that you could give to them. Time and thought are more important and significant than any gift that could be bought. Remember that holidays are specific days to show your partner a little extra love, but that appreciation should occur every day. Remind your partner every day how much you appreciate them, flaws and all. Remind them why they are in your life, why they make your life better, and always, always say I love you whenever you can.
To those who have recently gone through a breakup, and may or may not already be face deep in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s or guzzling a bottling of wine in order to prep for this horrendous day, I promise you that you will get through it. Yes, your heart is shattered and you are pissed that you are alone when some time ago everything seemed so right. All your friends around you are in relationships or so it seems like it. Heartbreak hurts, especially on holidays like this that serve as a reminder that you are alone. I won’t bullshit you with the “you’ll find the right one” or “at least you’ll save money” because no one wants to hear that. Enjoy you’re day alone. Pamper yourself, treat yourself, and enjoy yourself. You can never expect anything in life unless you are willing to do it yourself, so if you want chocolate… GO GET IT.
To those celebrating the holidays with close friends, you are luckier than you may consider yourself. The best part of holidays is being around those you love and what is better than being around your friends indulging in the finest wines, delectable cuisine, and plethora of chocolate candy? Sex? Maybe. But in life sometimes you come across a group of people who know your every mood, every thought, every mistake, and every dream… people who understand you more than you understand yourself (yes they exist). Those are the people you should spend time with for they will help you grow and help you enjoy doing so. When you find your lifetime friends you will know and there will never be a time, especially like Valentines day, that you will regret being with them.
For those who have lost someone and cannot be with them on this holiday, keep your head up. You think of your loved one every day but the holidays always just make their absence more noticeable. You probably want to crawl up into a ball, maybe sleep the day away until its over or spend the day screaming about life being unfair. You deserve every right to do so but allot yourself the time to do that and continue with the day. Shed positive light upon your own day and do something in memory of your loved one. Talking about a loved one, celebrating a certain way they might have, helps to keep their memory alive. This loved one was a part of you, and always will be, so to keep yourself feeling alive one must take time to reflect on them, a part of your life that has made you so happy. But take time in your day to be selfish. Have your breakdown and go treat yourself to something. Keep yourself surrounded by family and friends. Cutting yourself off from the world is only wasting precious time you could be spending with others that you still have and still are able to physically love. Take the love you have for your angel and spread it around.
To those spending the holiday with someone new, take a risk. I don’t mean hop in bed and forget about the condom. That is how STDs, and babies, or both happen. But take a chance. Go out with someone you hardly know, talk about your dreams and goals, try a new dinner, hold each others hands. 20 years down the road are you really going to care if you tried to go for a kiss and they turned away? 20 years down the road are you going to regret not asking someone to go on another date in the future? 20 years down the road you may be starting a family with this person, but then again maybe you won’t. But we were made to dream, so why not? So.. it doesn’t work out.. but what if it does?
Regardless of who you are, and what you have been through, try to remember what you have in life rather than trying to find what is missing. Happy Valentines Day!